It’s commonly been accepted throughout history that Santa doesn’t visit
children of non-Christian religions such as Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and Buddhist.
So if we factor out those households, that leaves us with only 92 million homes
for Santa to visit, that’s significantly less.
Also Santa doesn’t have to fit all these into just 24 hours on Christmas
eve. If he travels from East to West, he would have 31 hours in which to
deliver presents, thanks to timezone differences. This leaves Santa with
roughly 1/1000th of a second to get down the chimney, deliver presents and
consume whatever treats have been left out for him. He would have to make 822
visits per second. A challenge indeed. And that brings us to the ever so
complicated topic of flying reindeer.
There are an estimated 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be
classified, and there exists a snake that can fly, so who are we to say there
aren’t flying reindeer somewhere out there. But one of the biggest obstacles
stopping Santa from being real is not magical deer but the payload he would
have to carry. Even if every child only received a small toy from Santa, around
800g on average, it would result in a payload on Santa’s Sleigh weighting 302
million kilograms. And that’s not even counting all the coal for all the
horrible little terrors.
Now consider that Santa would have to travel at 650 miles per second to
get around all the required households in time for Christmas morning. 302
million kilograms traveling at that speed would exert a red-nose shattering
13.5 quintillion joules of energy on each reindeer, due to the immense air
pressure created at such speeds. In short, Santa, his sleigh and his reindeer
would burst into a ball of flames and perish instantaneously after setting off
from the North Pole.
But hold, the strange science of Quantum mechanics allows for some
physics defying spectacles that seem to defy every scientific law you know. And
if we apply the laws of Quantum mechanics to Santa Claus then it’s possible
that he is a Macroscopic Quantum Object. This would allow him to be in multiple
places at once – meaning he could deliver presents to every child on Earth
simultaneously. There’s also the added benefit that he can keep an eye on Mrs.
Claus whilst he’s away for the night.
Quantum mechanics is a branch of science that studies the very, very
small; subatomic particles. It is our current understanding that these tiny
particles, such as electrons can be in two or more places in the universe at
the exact same time, as long as nobody is watching. To prove this, scientists
fired a single particle into an opaque plate that had two slits in it. The
diffraction pattern on the other side of the plate revealed that this singular
particle actually passed through both slits at the same time. However, when
detectors were setup to monitor if the particle passed through each slit, it
only passed through one slit at a time, but never both. Just because it was
being watched. To put it as simply as possible, this happens because the
particle’s wavefunction collapses when it is being observed, so it can no
longer be in two places at once. It’s similar to how Mrs. Claus can be in a
different place than she’s supposed to be, when Santa’s not watching. This
explains why Santa Claus can never be seen, because if he were, his
wavefunction would collapse.
So if this is true how come we know Santa as a large jolly fellow and
not an iddy-biddy little subatomic particle? Well scientists have observed
large clusters of particles that seem to behave as one single particle,
admittedly these clusters of particles are nowhere near as large as our
prospective Mr. Claus, but have some imagination for goodness sake. So if Santa
and his reindeer are a cluster of billions and billions of particles, acting
together as one – he could theoretically still adhere to the laws of quantum
mechanics and deliver lovely gifts to deserving children all over the world, in
just one night. This would also explain why his super secret Bond-villain,
death star base of toy-construction is tucked away in the North Pole. Because
quantum particles only behave in this manner in very, very cold environments.
Scientists have only observed the behavior at close to absolute zero; minus 273
C, which is somewhat colder than the north pole. But then, we have to allow for
some magic at Christmas, don’t we?
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